YES – Covid has struck again!

Yes, I know it’s been a long time since you’ve heard from me.  You were supposed to get this on the same day you received notification I have cancelled the preorder for Gateway To A New Beginning.  I couldn’t pull it off, but I’m here to explain now.  Please read all this to understand my personal Gateway… Yes, I’m sick again.  If you’re new to my mailing list, you know I fight what is often a losing battle with Epstein Barr Virus, Long Covid, and now a new bout of Covid.  The past 8 weeks have been part of that battle.  My heart goes out to all those around the country still battling sickness this winter!  You know, before this latest attack, I was doing much better – writing… swimming almost a mile a day… spending time with friends… creating something new.  I was stunned when I got knocked down again.  The fact that I can send this Blog is positive news, but I still spend most of my time in bed.  That will change, but…  The truth be told, I am sick to death with talking about my health challenges. I am also beyond tired of letting my readers down.  I believed I would release #21 (Gateway to A New Beginning) in January of this year.  Illness forced me to change that, but I completely believed I would have no trouble releasing it in March of this year.   Nope.  Not going to happen.  I finally accepted reality and cancelled all Pre-orders for this book.  # 1, I can’t guarantee with any degree of certainty when I can get it finished.  # 2 , I am not willing, nor able, to carry the weight of the pressure of trying to get it done.   The last 8 weeks have been a challenge.  I now recognize them as part of my portal to my personal Gateway To A New Beginning.   In order to understand this, I’m going to share a story I wrote many years ago – when I owned a large internet company.   It’s part of the book I wrote:  The Twisted Road of One Writer.  ***************  SAND DOLLARS  The road of life is not without twists and turns, disappointments and pain. I’m going to share one of the twists with you because it created another one of the core philosophies of my life – one I hope will encourage you as much as it does mine.  My company went through several transformations.  The first version was created with the help of a man that I loved like a brother.  I envisioned everything, formed a team of one hundred people that shared my vision, and gathered 50,000+ non-profit organizations eager for our help.   Peter (I’ve changed his name) had the job of creating the technology to make it happen. We made the perfect team.  We spent hours on the phone talking, laughing, dreaming, and celebrating our successes.  I loved him.  My company grew rapidly.  One of the things about Internet companies and the power of the phone, is that you can build tight relationships with people you’ve never laid eyes on.  I had several people on my management team I’d never met face-to-face, though we’d been working together for close to two years. I decided to change that.  I rented a wonderful home on the Long Beach Peninsula of Washington, made flight arrangements for everyone, and went on a shopping spree.  My firm condition for their attendance was that no one bring their computer.  I wanted a true “family retreat”, not a work event.  I loaded my truck with food and beach toys.  The whole time, I tried to ignore a funny feeling in my gut.  At the last moment, I threw in my laptop.  Everyone was coming to the Management Team Retreat, except for Peter.  He had decided that taking the time to come to Washington would not work for him at that moment.  Other things happened that had red flags flying in my mind and heart, but I kept trying to ignore them.  Finally, I could no longer pretend I didn’t have reason for concern. On the way to pick up Gary, one of my Management Team, from the airport, I made the difficult phone call that confirmed what I already knew in my gut. Peter was stealing the company.  You see, I had not yet learned the hard lesson that you never give up access to the data for an Internet company. Without your data and your coding, you can lose everything you’ve so carefully created.  I was still naïve.  I learned my lesson that day.   I cried on the way to the airport, but then swallowed my tears, met Gary with a smile and chatted all the way to the beach.  I had decided not to ruin everyone’s first night.  This was the first time we were all going to meet each other, and I was determined to have fun before I revealed the truth of what had happened.  The evening was amazing.  We stayed in a hotel before we drove the final ninety miles to the house I had rented. We hugged, laughed, talked, ate pizza, and played pool.  When the night wound down and we retired to our rooms I couldn’t sleep, however.  Not much keeps me awake, but the reality of what had just happened spun relentlessly through my head.   What was I going to tell them? A check on my computer revealed I no longer had access to our systems.  How was I going to tell them that everything we had worked for was gone?  I tossed and turned for hours before I gave in and got up.  I jumped into my truck, drove to the coast, and stepped out onto the sand just as dawn was kissing the night sky.  I was desperate for the freedom I find on the beach.  I was crying so hard while I walked that I was barely aware of the crashing waves or the screeching gulls wheeling out to welcome the new day.  That’s when I saw the first sand dollar through my tears.  I have a love affair with sand dollars, so I reached down to pick it up. Once I confirmed it was not live, I put it in my pocket and kept walking and crying.    I truly had no idea what we were going to do.  All I could see was that I had failed.  I had failed all the people who worked for me.  I had failed the non-profits counting on our company.  I had failed whatever power had given me the epiphany in the first place.  The sense of failure threatened to choke me as I walked down the beach, grateful it was deserted.   That’s when I saw the second sand dollar.   Absentmindedly, I scooped it up and put it in my pocket with the other one. A few steps later I spied another one, glistening as the water from a wave receded.  I picked that one up, too.  Suddenly, I was on a mission to pick up as many sand dollars as I could find.  Since I had found the first three at the water’s edge, I continued to walk there, my eyes glued on the sand.  I picked up two more, hardly even aware I had finally stopped crying. I still had no idea what I was going to do about my company, but the thrill of the hunt was at least a distraction.   The problem was that the tide was coming in.  Every time I bent my head to search the water line, a wave pushed me back, forcing me farther up the beach.  Strolling through the surf in January was not tops on my list of fun things.  I clenched my teeth with frustration as the waves approached, walked away from the frothy water, and kept looking. I found another one! I added it to my collection, and then turned back to the water line as the wave receded – back to where I had discovered the first ones.  Another wave pushed in, forcing me farther up the beach again, away from where I knew the sand dollars were. I found another one! This game continued for a while.  I kept returning to the water line, refusing to acknowledge that the incoming tide was going to win.  Each time the victorious surf pushed me up the beach, with me clenching my teeth all the way. Every time, I found a sand dollar. Finally, when my pockets were too full to hold even one more sand dollar, I stopped and turned to face the ocean.  With the hunt over, tears filled my eyes again as the reality of my situation came crashing back in – harder than the waves crashing into the shore.  You still don’t get it, do you? The still, quiet voice in my head was actually quite loud that morning.  “Huh?”  I spoke out loud, staring out at the waters, admiring the white tops of the waves catching the first rays of the sun.  You still don’t get it, do you?  “Obviously not,” I muttered.  The moment the words left my mouth, though, I suddenly understood.  I turned and stared back down the beach.  The whole time I had believed the incoming waves were knocking me off course.  They weren’t.  They were redirecting my path.  My heart pounded as the truth roared through my entire being.  My path was being redirected.  Just like that, the fear disappeared; replaced by a burning determination.  I patted the sand dollars bulging in my pockets, returned to my truck, and drove back to the hotel.  I arrived just as my team was emerging from their hotel rooms.  Two hours later, after a hasty breakfast, I sat them down in the living room of our vacation rental house and told them what had happened.  The expressions on their faces echoed the fears and concerns that had coursed through me from the moment I had discovered the truth. “What are we going to do?” one of them stammered.  Thanks to my early morning beach walk, I was ready.  “We’re going to build a new company,” I said calmly.  “Our path is being redirected.”   Looking back on that time, it was truly miraculous.  We had never all been together in one place.  Now here we all were, united as a team, and ready to do the impossible. We did the impossible.  When we left that house four days later, we had designed a company that was far superior to the one stolen from us.  When we relaunched two months later, our online shopping mall had gone from a couple hundred products to 1400 stores with millions of products, and technology and programs to support it that were lightyears beyond what we’d started with.   We did what countless people told us was impossible, in an amount of time that was inconceivable to experienced tech people – including my own!  All of us learned a lesson in just what was possible.   Peter?  Once he had stolen the systems, he attempted to steal my team of one hundred people, believing they would come with him since he had the power.  What he didn’t calculate into his plan was that every one of those one hundred people weren’t in it for the money.  We had a passion to make a difference for non-profit organizations, and we were determined to do it from a place of integrity.  Sure, we all wanted to make money, but it wasn’t our driving force.  Every single one of my team told Peter they weren’t interested in working with him.  He tried to make it work for a couple months on his own, but with no team, and no relationship with the non-profits my team had brought on board, he finally had to give up.  He offered to sell the systems back to me.   I declined.  Two weeks later we opened our brand-new shopping mall.  The power of that experience has never left me.  Every time I run into a difficult challenge… every time I hit something that seems insurmountable… every time I have a failure… I remember the words on the beach that day. You’re not being knocked off course.  Your path is being redirected.  Now, instead of clenching my teeth with frustration, I start looking for the next path.  I know it’s there, and I know the waves and challenges are pushing me toward it.  All I have to do is find it. I always do!  I also still have every one of those sand dollars! ____________________________ So, yes, I believe I’m being redirected. Before you gasp with disbelief, I am NOT saying I’m going to quit writing The Bregdan Chronicles. Only death will cause that to happen.   I AM saying that I’m not willing to put release dates on a book anymore – at least not for the foreseeable future.  When a new book is ready and published, I will send an email and let you know.  Amazon will let you know.   This, however, is NOT what I meant about being redirected.  While my health may not support the pressure of preorders and book release dates, I believe it WILL support a new project I’m bringing to life.  I can’t live without creating and making a difference, but I need to do it in a way I can handle.  I’m not going to tell you about it right now, and I’m not going to give you a release date, but I will tell you that my next email will be an invitation to all my amazing readers. I hope it will be soon!  This is my personal Gateway To A New Beginning – A Gateway I am very excited about!  I believe you’ll love it even more than my books.  I believe it will mean more to you than all the books that will come in the future – of which I believe many more will come.   That’s all I’m going to say right now.  I’m going back to bed! You’ll hear from me again when I’ve had the energy to finish creating.  I appreciate you more than you can possibly know!  Blessings, Ginny Dye